Bi girl fighting with boyfriend and wondering more and more about women... Advice?

I've dating men and women in the past. Right now I'm in a relationship with a man (he's 23, I'm 26) who is a really great guy -- honest, sensitive, has a lot going for him. I moved to a different city for him, and we have a lot of fun together, but we also fight a lot. I've been wanting to check out the gay scene here. I get *really* insecure when he checks out other women -- we've talked about it lots, and he admitted that he just can't help but have a flash of a sexual fantasy about himself with them, but then he brushes the fantasy aside. I don't understand, because I don't have graphic fantasies about other men or women that I see/meet. (I do, however, think about women when 'pleasuring' myself -- not specific women that I've met, but invented ones -- which I haven't admitted to him because he's sensitive about my orientation.


I'm so frustrated about his roving eye (even though I realize I'm a hypocrite). People say men can't help it -- they have so much testosterone and they are hard-wired to procreate, so they can't help but imagine themselves sexually with a pretty woman when they see one. I find myself wondering if I'd be happier with a woman who thought more like me.


Does anyone have any insight about my thoughts and feelings? Thank you so much.Bi girl fighting with boyfriend and wondering more and more about women... Advice?
He can't help it? I don't buy that. We can control where our mind wanders.





You shouldn't feel guilty though, if he can do it why shouldn't you? Of course its not cheating if its not physical touch but I think if you were really in love with him you wouldn't wonder what it'd be like with someone else. Then again I might be wrong, I'm quite young and immature but that's how my share of experiences have led me to see things. (:





You'r bf sounds like a tool though...just saying.Bi girl fighting with boyfriend and wondering more and more about women... Advice?
Your boyfriend just sounds like a douchebag, to be honest. While it may be true that many men appreciate the aesthetics of an attractive women they see while out in public, it doesn't mean that they have ';sexual fantasies'; about them. I think that's an extreme case. It's human nature to notice another human being's physical characteristics but I think your boyfriend has issues. Not all men think that way. Some people have a thing called self-control and if he thought you were the most gorgeous girl in the world, why would he be having sexual fantasies about random strange women?





He's sensitive about your orientation because he's afraid you'll ';become'; a lesbian and go over to the dark side.





Currently I'm in a relationship with a guy and I'm bisexual. I think I may lean more towards women but I love my boyfriend and he, for the most part, respects me and would never divulge his ';graphic fantasies'; to me. I doubt he has ';graphic fantasies'; whenever he sees a pretty woman. Sure, he may think, ';she's pretty';, but he has a pretty stable head on his shoulders, and plus, I'm confident enough to know that I'm a gem in his eyes and he only wants to have sex with me. I'm the most good looking girlfriend he's ever had, so I somehow doubt he has a roving eye, because I'm quite good looking myself. If I looked like some kind of forest troll then yeah, he'd probably be looking around to see what the next best thing is..





Your boyfriend has issues, girl. Maybe you should divulge your sexual fantasies about girls; give him a taste of his own medicine. But in the end you might wind up feeling too attracted to girls to be with him anymore.
It sounds like you guys are not meant to be together right now...
I do like dating women better than men, but I think you might just be thinking that ';the grass is greener on the other side';. If your boyfriend looks at other women and that really upsets you, consider dating some one else. It's basically up to you, and if his faults over rule what you like about him.