Do you think Im wrong for doing this? I need other women advice. Please help!?

My husband %26amp; I have been ttc for 1 year %26amp; no success. We are going to see a specialist next month. We have also been married for a year. Do you think it is wrong for not telling our family that we have been trying? I have not told anyone except a few close friends. This would be this 1st grandchild for everyone. Part of the reason is my MIL is such a pain. She is nosy, controlling %26amp; when she doesn't get her way she manipulates my husband to try to make him feel bad.We dont hate eachother but we are not exactly best friends. I know if I told her she would be bugging us every month with a million %26amp; one questions %26amp; it is already hard enough I don't need her to make it harder. I want to tell my mom because we are pretty close %26amp; would like to be able to talk to her about it but then my husband will say i need to tell his mom %26amp; don't want to. First she will make a big deal that we didn't tell her bc she asked a couple times (she always turn things around to make it about her) %26amp; we told her we were waiting gonna wait a while %26amp; she will call me every month to see if im pregnant %26amp; I dont need to add to the stress of having a hard time conceiving. The she will tell her whole family %26amp; it will be the topic of discussion everytime Im with them. My husband agrees with me on her behavio but he might think it is not fair. Am i wrong if i tell my mom %26amp; not her? I know my mom will just keep it between me %26amp; her. I feel bad for not telling my mom because we are close.





Do you think Im wrong for doing this? I need other women advice. Please help!?
To be completely honest... I don't think you should tell her. I have had my mother-in-law prying in my life for a long time. And though I love her dearly, I find it best to keep my space with personal issues.





I was in a simliar situation when me and my husband were trying to get pregnant and my husband told his mom we were having a hard time. She gave him boxers (stupid rumor) so he would be more fertile, and then she went out and bought me some chinese herbs to drink. She even bought some mother's day cards for me in the future. It made me feel like i was under pressure, and closed in.





There are just some things that should be kept away from certain people. Nothing against them personally. That's just the way it has to be. Do you think Im wrong for doing this? I need other women advice. Please help!?
i would tell my mom and then not tell your mother inlaw. i got luck and have a wonderful mil. my mom is the more controling type but only if she is asked. i let her do my wedding because i just had my son and i really did not need the stress of it all so i helped. you can try to make her feel included but let her now her boundaries. to help concieve you should check out the monthly charting of your ovulation. this helps wonders good luck baby dust to you
That is what your mom is for. You say you are close to her, then it wouldn't be abnormal for you to share personal information with her. For your husband to expect you to treat HIS mom the same is just ridiculous. It really isn't her business, until you do become pregnant, then it kind of is, but not now.
My husband and I didn't tell anyone either. We didn't even tell anyone we were pregnant until I was 8 weeks. It's your business, and spreading that information throughout your family can sometimes come back to haunt you. I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. Having people asking you if you're pregnant yet can be very irritating.
alot of people TTC dont tell close family, just incase they can't concieve remember it can take up too a year too concieve maybe your in your ';lucky'; month. You dont have too tell people you dont want too.





You might want too keep it too yourself until after you see what your doctor says, im not trying too put your hopes down. Stay positive, but if theres bad news, than everyones going too know even the people you didnt want knowing.


Good luck best wishes. =]
You are not obligated to tell you MIL whether or not your own mom knows. Your MIL's behavior is justification enough for this. Because your own mom knows doesn't mean it's anyone else's business. She deserves to know if she can keep it to herself. You don't need the extra stress your MIL will bring, but it may help your stress level to confide in your mom. This is really only your business and your husband's. He is really giving his mother too much power and should place your feelings first. Good luck to you.
I dont think its wrong at all. TTC is something personal between a husband and wife. Especially if you guys have been trying for some time now with no luck, the last thing you need is someone reminding every month about it. at least your husband agrees with his mothers behavior some men are ';blind'; about it. On some level yes its not technicaly fair that your mom will know and not your husbands mom, but your a woman and you need your mother, hes a man hes not going to need to talk to his mother about this the way you need your mother. I think you should tell your mom. Just tell your husband you need another woman to talk to. And if he still doesnt think its fair you can always say that as soon as you guys find out your pregnant you can tell his mother first. I really hope things work out for you after seeing the specialist. 9 months is long enough wait when you really want a baby. good luck and baby dust you and your hubby.
Its none of your MIL's business. (I don't tell my MIL anything unless I have to, she is the same way yours is) If you want to tell your mom, by all means, do so. I don't blame you a bit, your hubby knows how his mom is, I don't think he'll thinks its unfair. If you think he will, just explain that you don't want everyone knowing yours and his personal stuff. You also don't need the extra stress of her bugging you constantly on top of your trying to concieve.
I think you are totally within your rights to talk about this with your mother and not your MIL if that's what feels comfortable to you. I would warn her to keep it to herself (which you mentioned) but other than that, don't waste a minute feeling guilty about that.





Conceiving is only more difficult with added stress, and you need your mom's lifelong wisdom and experience. You need to be able to talk about it with someone and this will help you relax about everything.
Oh, I know the feeling sweetie. Except my ex MIL convinced my ex that I got pregnant for his money...even though he was broke. She manipulated him to the point where I just wanted to tell him to just marry his mother! No, do NOT feel bad about not letting her know. If she is as manipulative of your husband as you say (which I don't doubt by the way) then she will try to convince you guys to wait, even though it's what you both want. Best of luck darling, I hope you get a little angel.